Halloween Ecard with text: May ten thousand nightmarish, pumpkin-headed creatures armed with Kalashnikovs and rocket-propelled grenades stage a violent and bloody military coup this Halloween.

16 Oct 2008

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sneaky snowmen

People often say I'm too serious, but I have so many responsibilities! I run one of the most influential and socially responsible websites on Earth! It's Christmas and I should burning tires in my living room and making up a batch of Nanna's lizard soup but here I am drawing pictures of snowmen for all you reckless people who think snowmen are safe to be around. Look at me, Nanna, saving the world again...

Christmas

Concerned Ecard with text: I'm not saying that you worry about trivial, absurd things. I'm saying that you worry about trivial, absurd things AND fail to appreciate the dangers of couch monsters. (Picture of a couch with tentacles.)

worries

There is nothing worse than people fretting about frivolous things. Well, being pecked to death by half-starved ducks is probably worse. Also, being followed around by the same pigeon for weeks was pretty rough when that happened to me recently. I had to keep buying it fries to prevent it from brow-beating me. Stupid bird.

Concerned

jackal head

I forgot to login to Facebook for two months. No ill-effects, although I don't think Bill Gate's mind control 5G towers are working on me as well as they used to. And I think the vaccine nanobots are on the blink. Still, I did do some renovations at Wrongcards.com, so that's some good news. Oh, and there's this card ...

Thinking of You

Excuses Ecard with text: I am sorry I cannot attend your party but I'll be secluding myself indefinitely, or at least until this very persistent zebra stops following me.

unwelcome follower

If I were a famous individual my name would be prefixed with the phrase 'The Famous Recluse'. I know that sounds grandiose but I don't see any point in being a humble recluse. So anyway I like to provide excuses to recluses. Example: today's card. If you want an unbelievable life, stop being believable right now, I say.

Excuses

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