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always remember

Christmas is a time for families. I was raised by my Nanna but she's dead now, though she still appears occasionally in my kitchen at odd hours of the night to howl and gesture menacingly at me. No idea what that's about. At Christmas we would decorate her pet lizards and hook them up to car-batteries to make them dance for us. It was so much fun to be a kid! No idea why I grew up really.

Christmas

Inspirational Ecard with text: The secret to having a successful career is to be in the right place at the right time with a camera.

secret of success

We have an entire category of Inspirational Ecards, though it's a sadly neglected place lately because, well, if I was to write a self-help book it would probably be called 'Everybody Should Work It Out For Themselves' and Chapter III would be titled 'Choosing Randomly'. BTW today's card is an inspirational ecard, so shush.

Inspirational

unattended forklifts

...

Apology

Inspirational Ecard with text: People would not suffer from depression if they knew how to steal helicopters.

stealing helicopters

On Wednesdays I like to post an older card and then spend the rest of the day working as a volunteer at a telemarketing company. I'm surreptitiously turning the place into a preemptive suicide hot-line. Everyone I call is pretty confused, of course, but I guess I just believe in changing institutions from within.

Inspirational

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