Monopoly | Family Ecard | WRONGCARDS

Family Ecard with text: One way to ensure that your children will do all their chores and homework is to carefully monopolize the household's supply of cigarettes. — about this card: monopoly | I was listening to some poor, hapless parent talking about how hard it was to get their kid to enter the civilized world and, before I knew it, the words of today’s wrongcard fell off my tongue. If I ever become a parent I want to do it the old-fashioned way: accidentally. I look forward to it, I suppose; it just seems so romantic to flee a country and live under a false identity.

somewhat related wrongcards

OCD Ecard with text: Black Mold. It often lives undetected in houses. According to a 1999 study at the Mayo Clinc, Black MOld is the cause of nearly all chronic sinus infection. It can cause headaches, depression, hair loss, nosebleeds, and death. So faor the love of God, clean the damned house before you kill us all!

Excuses Ecard with text: The fact that you even want me to do chores around the house reveals a chilling lack of empathy.

Excuses Ecard with text: The only thing that has prevented me from doing the chores you asked me to do is my discovery that video games are just more enjoyable.

Inspirational Ecard with text: To be successful, one should always adopt the habits of highly successful people. And I don't think there is a single successful person alive who does chores.

Family Ecard with text: How about you do all the housework and i'll focus on being awesome, and one day i'll thank you briefly in an appendix of my memoirs.

latest newsletters

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.

books by me

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

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Rise of the Blue Bandicoot Book Cover

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The Blue Bandicoot Saga Book Cover

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The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

Shea suffers from pathological problems with authority. When he's not fixing computers in the library at Harvard Medical School, he's tormenting middle managers and feuding with his boss. But where in the Harvard employee manual does it say you have to behave perfectly at all times?