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Ecard text: One way to ensure that your children will do all their chores and homework is to carefully monopolize the household's supply of cigarettes.
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about this wrongcard

I was listening to some poor, hapless parent talking about how hard it was to get their kid to enter the civilized world and, before I knew it, the words of today's wrongcard fell off my tongue. If I ever become a parent I want to do it the old-fashioned way: accidentally. I look forward to it, I suppose; it just seems so romantic to flee a country and live under a false identity.



The Harvard Skull Fiasco is Now Available

There's a new book out in the world, and I wrote it.

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Ecard text: Black Mold. It often lives undetected in houses. According to a 1999 study at the Mayo Clinc, Black MOld is the cause of nearly all chronic sinus infection. It can cause headaches, depression, hair loss, nosebleeds, and death. So faor the love of God, clean the damned house before you kill us all!
I'm not the tidiest person but that doesn't mean my friends shouldn't be. Sometimes I'll go over to a mate's place and think: how nice that you feel comfortable enough not to clean up before I arrive. So I tell them what Black Mold is. Ten minutes later they'll be disinfecting the linoleum under the fridge while I watch on, eating all the biscuits. You see, I have always liked biscuits.
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Ecard text: How about you do all the housework and i'll focus on being awesome, and one day i'll thank you briefly in an appendix of my memoirs.
Chores. Some want to do them, some don't. The problem is that the people who WANT to do chores always insist that the people who DON'T want to do them should also want to do them. I'd rather lay on a beach than do chores myself, but I've always been an individualist. Here's today's card.
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Inspirational cards

Ecard text: To be successful, one should always adopt the habits of highly successful people. And I don't think there is a single successful person alive who does chores.
Let's start off the week with an inspirational card. Of course, one might disagree with this card but that would require a perverse and contrary psychology. The thought of people disagreeing with me always makes me feel wistful and sad. What a troubled world. Anyway, here is today's card to make it all better.
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Ecard text: I remembered it is our anniversary. I also did my chores so technically I deserve for you to unlock the plastic animals cabinet.
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