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WTF Ecard with text: my psychiatrist says he hates it when i show up in his bedroom at 3am wearing nothing but over mitts. but deep down, i know he's really into it.
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14 Apr 2008

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Dark Humor Ecard with text: We know that Sigmund Freud never got to the bottom of the question 'what is it that women really want?' because his final work was not a volume of cupcake recipes.

cupcakes

Romance. It can't be avoided. It has all the sad inevitability of scabies. And what is romance, anyway? On the one hand, you say you don't like someone at work but when their house burns down suddenly I'm the bad guy. And some men grow up eating crayons. Love is not about taking away a man's crayons. What is Romance? Do I put my elbows on the table anymore? No I don't. So there.

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WTF Ecard with text: In my Rorschach ink-blot test I easily recognized the Moth Man who has been trying to eat my soul since my childhood. But I told the doctor I only saw my mother having sex. I like to make him happy.

moth man inkblot

On Wednesdays I feature an older card and then spend the rest of the day trying to pass myself off as a credible researcher at Harvard Medical School. I carry a clipboard and say things like, 'We're making progress. I think we have reasons to feel optimistic.' Sooner or later they're going to let me play with the bodies.

WTF

WTF Ecard with text: My doctor says I am a triumph of modern psychiatric medicine! If he keeps being nice to me I may have to let him out of my basement.

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Workplace Ecard with text: im sorry i havent been supportive but i didnt know you had a real psychological problem. with description of ergasiophobia.

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from the newsletter

I spent an upsetting amount of money buying a Happy Meal and it did not make me happy. It’s Germany though, so the meal came with a beer. I asked if I could have whiskey instead and they looked at me as if I was mad.

— Strange Passage, Part Two

my newsletter is called

My Blameless Life

read it here ➞

you might also like
Dark Humor Ecard with text: We know that Sigmund Freud never got to the bottom of the question 'what is it that women really want?' because his final work was not a volume of cupcake recipes.

cupcakes

Romance. It can't be avoided. It has all the sad inevitability of scabies. And what is romance, anyway? On the one hand, you say you don't like someone at work but when their house burns down suddenly I'm the bad guy. And some men grow up eating crayons. Love is not about taking away a man's crayons. What is Romance? Do I put my elbows on the table anymore? No I don't. So there.

Dark Humor

WTF Ecard with text: In my Rorschach ink-blot test I easily recognized the Moth Man who has been trying to eat my soul since my childhood. But I told the doctor I only saw my mother having sex. I like to make him happy.

moth man inkblot

On Wednesdays I feature an older card and then spend the rest of the day trying to pass myself off as a credible researcher at Harvard Medical School. I carry a clipboard and say things like, 'We're making progress. I think we have reasons to feel optimistic.' Sooner or later they're going to let me play with the bodies.

WTF

WTF Ecard with text: My doctor says I am a triumph of modern psychiatric medicine! If he keeps being nice to me I may have to let him out of my basement.

psychiatric medicine

...

WTF

Workplace Ecard with text: im sorry i havent been supportive but i didnt know you had a real psychological problem. with description of ergasiophobia.

ergasiophobia

...

Workplace

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my psychiatrist hates it

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tags:psychiatrist, psychiatry

my psychiatrist says he hates it when i show up in his bedroom at 3am wearing nothing but over mitts. but deep down, i know he's really into it.
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