If people flush the toilet without closing the lid then aerated particles of fecal matter churn into the air and settle on your towel, in your lungs, your toothbrush and every surface in the room. Welcome to the harsh reality of obsessive compulsive disor

'Every Wednesday I post an older card, then I watch TV so corporations can tell me which foods to eat through the next year, and where to buy their diabetes meds the year after that, and which politician they think is most cooperative. Also: did you know how much bacteria is in your bathroom? If you're not worried then the germs have already won.'