subscribe
previous next card
Ecard text: Oh my God, you know I like you, why do I have to give you a valentines day card? We are adults right? PS. This is the aforementioned valentines day card. PPS. No need to thank me.
share this send card
about this wrongcard

Some of us are expected to send St Valentines Day cards tomorrow and somehow our souls feel a stirring of revolt. And we churlishly chafe at this consumer chore, this routine, recurring ritual of relationship renewal. But what can we do? We send an honest card. (Don't say I don't love you).

Read my latest book

"Shea is beginning to think that stealing the world's most famous skull wasn't the best way to launch his career in cat burglary..."

read more
From My Newsletter, June 20, 2019

I also considered throwing a chair through a window, but I didn't because it was my chair, and also my window. One should be particular when it comes to picking out targets for petty acts of vandalism.

read more


Related Cards
Valentines Day cards

Ecard text: Happy Valentines Day because, after giving the matter some thought, I've decided to go through the motions and profess a semblance of romantic sentiment because, all things considered, it just seems preferable to the consequences I'd be force to endure if I did nothing. (A picture of a badger with the words: by the way, I just like this picture, I'm not trying to say I feel badgered or anything.)
I was hoping you guys would be cool this year and, in some unspoken way, universally recognize that Valentines Day is a lot of nonsense. I could have played video games today, guys; it could have been good. But no - here we are, I'm drawing badgers because some of you are dating people who believe in this stuff. I'm not angry with you. But let's see some progress next year ok?
share this send card