Ecard text: Placenta should never go to waste.
about this card
I can't help it - people I know keep having babies. It's been my experience that new parents get really nervy and upset if you say stuff like 'You know, toddlers are awesome when they're high!' Just in case you were going to say something like this.
prev send card next
ABOUT THIS CARD
I can't help it - people I know keep having babies. It's been my experience that new parents get really nervy and upset if you say stuff like 'You know, toddlers are awesome when they're high!' Just in case you were going to say something like this.

subscribe to my newsletter

Sign up here to get the latest updates and
receive one of my novels for free.

Random Cards
Ecard text: hi do you want to hold hands? wah i totally suck at romance :(
Ecard text: It is so cute and endearing that your reaction to the certitude of an impending ecological disaster that includes famine,civil-unrest, and irreversible mass extinctions right across our entire food chain as a consequence of human overpopulation, is to hav
Ecard text: So it turns out that trying to order panda in a Chinese restaurant is considered offensive.
Ecard text: I’m sorry I can’t hang out with you tonight but it’s a full moon and I’m staying inside, because apparently I’m the only one who reacts to possible werewolf infestations responsibly.
BOOKS BY ME

"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

— The Harvard Skull Fiasco

Subscribe, and receive for free!

"One of the funniest books that I've read."
—Joe Z.

"A fun, zany book full of quirky characters, witty banter, and clever plot twists."
— E. C. Rider.

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

"I enjoyed this the second entry in the "Blue Bandicoot" series even more than the first; in particular the second half here is fantastic."
—James M.

"Wickedly funny."
— R. Massey

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.