About This Card

One time in a job interview someone asked me if I could think outside the box. Now, if I'd said YES, I'd be thinking INSIDE the box, which is tantamount to saying NO. So I just said, "Have you ever woken up to find a Chinese man licking your foot?" Then they got uncomfortable and the interview ended. My point is, the world is a confused place. And the fact I'm NOT confused doesn't make it any easier.

The Cold, Moist Salmon of Hypocrisy

I don't care who you are, there's something other-worldy about having your conscience called-out by a three-year-old. read more

Shea is beginning to think that stealing the world's most famous skull wasn't the best way to launch his career in cat burglary...

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

"One of the funniest books that I've read."
—Joe Z.

"A fun, zany book full of quirky characters, witty banter, and clever plot twists."
— E. C. Rider.

"Wickedly funny." — R. Massey

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