Ecard text: Happy Mothers Day. And just think about how much better our relationship would be if you had just bought me a pony like I asked? I guess you'll have to be content with a crap ecard.
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Ecard text: Happy Mothers Day Few Mothers have done more for their progeny than you. Excepting those who died in childbirth of course. I mean, we have to give credit where credit is due. Those Mothers make your maternal sacrifices seem trivial.
Ecard text: 'If you were paying attention you would have realized by now that you were promised a pony, but you never received this pony, and that this constitutes a massive betrayal in your life. And the only way to diminish this dull yet irrevocable pain in your heart is to stab random friends and co-workers with pens. Stop by later, I have some pens I'm prepared to sell you.'
Ecard text: these pretty flowers had their stalks snapped just as they budded so people could feel good about themselves. It seems pretty morbid and deranged to me, but old women like this stuff so here you are, Happy Mothers Day Blah Blah.
Ecard text: i'm too old to be breast-fed, ma!
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