Prisoner | Excuses Ecard | WRONGCARDS

Excuses Ecard with text: Cannot hang out. Am a prisoner of my mind and it needs me to kill dragons. — about this card: prisoner | I’m still in Granada, and just tried to order room service. I’m in a bit of a difficult mood so I tried to order swan. Black swan. They told me they didn’t have black swan on the menu so I said I’d settle for an ordinary swan that had been dyed black. Even when I’m difficult I’m highly reasonable. But I’m not going to lie; this has nothing to do with today’s card.

somewhat related wrongcards

CheerUp Ecard with text: You think you have problems. My Sims are trapped inside a burning house and someone has bricked up the doors. Life can be so sad.

New Year's Ecard with text: Late again with the New Years Celebrations, China? Don't worry about the dragons. If you look closely you'll see they have people inside of them.

Happy Thanksgiving Ecard with text: I am sorry I cannot attend Thanksgiving with your family but I would rather kill Nazis on a Playstation than sit with them at a dinner table.

Excuses Ecard with text: I cannot come to work today due to an unfortunate flare-up of inner demons.

Excuses Ecard with text: The only thing that has prevented me from doing the chores you asked me to do is my discovery that video games are just more enjoyable.

latest newsletters

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.

books by me

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

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Rise of the Blue Bandicoot Book Cover

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The Blue Bandicoot Saga Book Cover

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The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

Shea suffers from pathological problems with authority. When he's not fixing computers in the library at Harvard Medical School, he's tormenting middle managers and feuding with his boss. But where in the Harvard employee manual does it say you have to behave perfectly at all times?