Progress report | Flirting and Pick Up Lines Ecard | WRONGCARDS

Flirting and Pick Up Lines Ecard with text: Progress report: I now have THREE sexual fantasies of you that don't involve smurfs. — about this card: progress report | So, what did you do today? I drew a smurf. What?! Yeah - a smurf. Damn, man. Yeah I know - keep me in your prayers.

somewhat related wrongcards

Valentines Ecard with text: I want to spend Valentines Day alone with you. And one of your more attractive friends.

Valentines Ecard with text: Here is your Valentines Day card. Now it is your turn to do something for me. Vaseline.

WTF Ecard with text: The great benefit to exclusively having sex with an octopus is that it won't live long enough for you both to reach that 'rocky' phase of the relationship.

Love Ecard with text: It has not escaped my notice that I am expected to reveal an occasional awareness of our relationship by routinely presenting you with some sort of sentiment adorned with romantic symbology. Please enjoy this 'geometric cardioid' that was recognized for many centuries as an icon of genitalia. I thus expect that one or more sexual encounters will ensure.

Thinking of You Ecard with text: i can't find anything in the bible prohibiting inflatable sheep - so i think you're in the clear with jesus.

latest newsletters

Call Me Nebuchadnezzar

In which I accidentally create a religion.

Call Me Nebuchadnezzar

In which I accidentally create a religion.

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

books by me

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

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Rise of the Blue Bandicoot Book Cover

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The Blue Bandicoot Saga Book Cover

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The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

Shea suffers from pathological problems with authority. When he's not fixing computers in the library at Harvard Medical School, he's tormenting middle managers and feuding with his boss. But where in the Harvard employee manual does it say you have to behave perfectly at all times?