About This Card

Some say that Valentines Day is a commercialized confidence trick played on lovers, a cloying manufactured holiday, a manipulative marketing mechanism. But me? I only worry about two things. One, that if you don't buy someone chocolate right now, your entire relationship will crumble to pieces. And two, that raptors may not be as extinct as "the authorities" claim.

How I Cheer Myself Up During the Holidays

I like living here in Cambridge, Massachusetts, for at least six months out of every year. Then it gets cold and dark and dismal, and you have to be very deliberate about cheering yourself up. Here's an example of how I do that. read more

Shea is beginning to think that stealing the world's most famous skull wasn't the best way to launch his career in cat burglary...

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

"One of the funniest books that I've read."
—Joe Z.

"A fun, zany book full of quirky characters, witty banter, and clever plot twists."
— E. C. Rider.

"Wickedly funny." — R. Massey

Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon

Related Cards

Ecard text: Sorry I'm not in the mood for Easter this year. Here is a drawing of a Basilosaurus instead.

Share this Wrongcard?

Ecard text: Sorry I'm not in the mood for Easter this year. Here is a drawing of a Basilosaurus instead.

Sure — how do you want to share it?

facebook

twitter

tumblr

pinterest

email

Ecard text: Nietzsche was wrong: if you gaze long enough into the the abyss, Barney the Dinosaur gazes back into you, which is of course much, much worse.

Share this Wrongcard?

Ecard text: Nietzsche was wrong: if you gaze long enough into the the abyss, Barney the Dinosaur gazes back into you, which is of course much, much worse.

Sure — how do you want to share it?

facebook

twitter

tumblr

pinterest

email

Ecard text: The lesson I have taken away from Easter is that if you are really, really, really nice to people, you will be betrayed by your friends, murdered and then, 2000 years later, everyone will remember you by eating a randomly chosen chocolate animal.

Share this Wrongcard?

Ecard text: The lesson I have taken away from Easter is that if you are really, really, really nice to people, you will be betrayed by your friends, murdered and then, 2000 years later, everyone will remember you by eating a randomly chosen chocolate animal.

Sure — how do you want to share it?

facebook

twitter

tumblr

pinterest

email

Ecard text: Happy St Patricks Day. And we will get into fewer fights this year if you know that the Easter Uprising was not about a chocolate egg shortage.

Share this Wrongcard?

Ecard text: Happy St Patricks Day. And we will get into fewer fights this year if you know that the Easter Uprising was not about a chocolate egg shortage.

Sure — how do you want to share it?

facebook

twitter

tumblr

pinterest

email