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Ecard text: I miss you and you should come home soon because i am really freaking myself out here.
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Read my latest book

"Shea is beginning to think that stealing the world's most famous skull wasn't the best way to launch his career in cat burglary..."

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The Harvard Skull Fiasco is Now Available

There's a new book out in the world, and I wrote it.

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Related Cards
WTF cards

Ecard text: 'as food prices rise, remember: there are alternative sources of white meat. And it's not as if they don't fantasize about eating us. Look - i'm just saying.'
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WTF cards

Ecard text: next time i eat chicken, i'm cooking it first
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WTF cards

Ecard text: 'the cow has given me my first mission. but i keep wondering: why would a sentient, pan-dimensional cow have such faith in a stoner like me, anyway?'
On Wednesdays I like to post a link to an older card and then spend the rest of the day standing outside retirement communities wearing a Grim Reaper costume. Look, it's the only place I can go without surprising anyone.
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Thinking Of You cards

Ecard text: it's not that i don't want to hang out with you, i'd just prefer to hang out with my dog
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