Ecard text: when i was a kid, captain planet used to come over to my house and teach me about recycling ordinary house hold items that most people discard after just one use. captain planet usually spelt of whiskey.
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Ecard text: and i am sorry i suggested we celebrate with beer and strippers. you're right a romantic candlelight dinner in an expensive restaurant and talking about emotions is what i wanted to do also., , , ,
Ecard text: i have found that drunkenness makes me more charming, witty, and generally more awesome to members of the opposite sex.
Ecard text: The money we save by sending free ecards instead of expensive gifts may then be completely wasted on alcohol. they'll say we're cheap, but no one ever appreciates the rich subtleties of genius.
Ecard text: congratulations - we've been sober for one entire day
BOOKS BY ME

"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

— The Harvard Skull Fiasco

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"A fun, zany book full of quirky characters, witty banter, and clever plot twists."
— E. C. Rider.

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"I enjoyed this the second entry in the "Blue Bandicoot" series even more than the first; in particular the second half here is fantastic."
—James M.

"Wickedly funny."
— R. Massey

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The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.