Ecard text: 'Get well soon! There is a 33% chance that you are host to toxoplasmic brain parasites, which can kill you when your immune system is weakened. Like now-ish. So: feel better...'
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Wrongcards offers free, funny ecards that are wrong for every occasion. The site is 'not-for-profit' and contains no ads, other than some reminders that the site's founder writes funny books that you can find at Amazon.

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Random Cards
Ecard text: Thanks for being cool, as in Burt Reynolds cool.
Ecard text: Remember, never mistake a horde or shoppers with a sudden outbreak of zombies. the authorities will not understand.
Ecard text: I am deeply sorry that we argued and feel that the whole misunderstanding could have been avoided if you had more immediately accepted the rightness of my views.
Ecard text: I have my own religion and in that religion all pandas secretly hate you.
BOOKS BY ME

"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

— The Harvard Skull Fiasco

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"One of the funniest books that I've read."
—Joe Z.

"A fun, zany book full of quirky characters, witty banter, and clever plot twists."
— E. C. Rider.

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"I enjoyed this the second entry in the "Blue Bandicoot" series even more than the first; in particular the second half here is fantastic."
—James M.

"Wickedly funny."
— R. Massey

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The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.