Ecard text: Before embarking on a journey of revenge, dig two graves in case you happen to meet a clown out there.
about this card
I just spent 20 minutes looking for my keys - they get moved around by my enemies - and suddenly realized what an awful day Karl Rove must be having. He dropped millions trying to buy his friend a job but it didn't pan out due to an unanticipated technical error (they counted the votes). Then I found my keys. Woot! They were in a boot. I guess Obama and I are both having a good day.
ABOUT THIS CARD
I just spent 20 minutes looking for my keys - they get moved around by my enemies - and suddenly realized what an awful day Karl Rove must be having. He dropped millions trying to buy his friend a job but it didn't pan out due to an unanticipated technical error (they counted the votes). Then I found my keys. Woot! They were in a boot. I guess Obama and I are both having a good day.

subscribe to my newsletter

Sign up here to get the latest updates and
receive one of my novels for free.

Related Cards
Ecard text: tragically, this shot would be illegal in most parts of the world. Lobby governments to overturn laws that protect clowns.
Ecard text: If life has taught me anything it is that the best time to throw darts at a clown is when he is juggling.
Ecard text: Clowns.. if a few go missing now and then, who is going to notice?
Ecard text: the ideal New Years Resolution should include the mention of a dead clown, a chain-saw, a stolen golf buggy, half a pound of peyote and a determination to improve oneself.
BOOKS BY ME

"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

— The Harvard Skull Fiasco

Subscribe, and receive for free!

"One of the funniest books that I've read."
—Joe Z.

"A fun, zany book full of quirky characters, witty banter, and clever plot twists."
— E. C. Rider.

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

"I enjoyed this the second entry in the "Blue Bandicoot" series even more than the first; in particular the second half here is fantastic."
—James M.

"Wickedly funny."
— R. Massey

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.