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Ecard text: I am sorry for the ridiculous lies I have to make up to get you to put out.
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Read my latest book

"Shea is beginning to think that stealing the world's most famous skull wasn't the best way to launch his career in cat burglary..."

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The Harvard Skull Fiasco is Now Available

There's a new book out in the world, and I wrote it.

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Ecard text: then you advance on me through a blood red mist wielding a spear. I know this fantasy is fraught with peril but I figure that at this point in our relationship you owe me some stuff like this.
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Ecard text: congratulations. i'm really happy for you and also curious to know how sexually generous this all makes you feel.
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Ecard text: how much alcohol would I be required to buy you so I might clumsily paw at your body without you objecting much?
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Flirting cards

Ecard text: So the plan is we become sex addicts, then attempt to cure ourselves via immersion therapy. Unless you have a better plan for the weekend (not scientifically possible).
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