Ecard text: Congratulations but we both know that youre not really successful in life until Ronald McDonald puts out a restraining order against you. Until then, you are just dicking around.
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Wrongcards offers free, funny ecards that are wrong for every occasion. The site is 'not-for-profit' and contains no ads, other than some reminders that the site's founder writes funny books that you can find at Amazon.

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Random Cards
Ecard text: live in the moment. because, based on what we have already learned from technology, none of us can say with complete confidence that we won't be raped by our android butlers whenever we forget to download their latest service packs..
Ecard text: Synchronized Swimmers never drown during Olympic Events. And this means that God cannot possibly exist.
Ecard text: Cheer up.  At least you are not a slug being eaten by ants.
Ecard text: You are not allowed to be bored at work until AFTER you have forced Human Resources to amend the Employee Handbook with fourteen pages detailing the prohibition of Weaponized Squid Delivery Devices.
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"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

— The Harvard Skull Fiasco

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The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.