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WTF Ecard with text: 'So I poured bong water into your aquarium to see if fish can get high. Now, before you react, I want you to focus on the undeniable truth - that scientific inquiry has long confused lay society. However, to show you I am a good sport, I have decided to cook you dinner tonight. Just waiting for the fish to finish marinating.'
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16 Aug 2008

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Mother's Day Ecard with text: Don't worry Mother. When I'm high I love you at least twenty-five percent more than usual. It just accentuates everything!

when im high

It's that time of year when we all remember our mothers. That's right. Mothers Day is nigh - at least, it is in North America. Different countries tend to celebrate Mothers Day at different times of year. I know, right? Why can't the world just agree on one thing? It's like we were all brought up badly or something. Anyway. This card has 25% more good taste than the others.

Mother's Day

CheerUp Ecard with text: If you absolutely must have Identity Issues, then please, for the sake of everyone around you, try to make them interesting. (Picture of a man in a gorilla suit holding a large fish.)

identity issues

So the story behind this card is that I was walking near the zoo early this morning when a gorilla escaped its enclosure. I had the good fortune to be eating a toffee apple, which the gorilla had a particular fondness for, so we shared the toffee, had a bit of a heart to heart and then, in a newly restored state of mental calm, the gorilla legged it back over the wall into the zoo. BTW if it doesn't rain on Thursday we're both going swimming!

CheerUp

Mother's Day Ecard with text: Thank you Mother for refraining from eating me when I was small, and thus making this Mothers Day card possible.

possible

They say that my Mum had a very generous spirit. I have few memories of her, mostly they're of her leaving to go out on her rounds in her nurses uniform. It's a pity she wasn't a nurse. Mother's Day is an important holiday/scam run by the greeting card industry. I'll be honest about it at least until Wrongcards is profitable, after which I'm obligated to pretend it's not nonsense.

Mother's Day

WTF Ecard with text: So it turns out that trying to order panda in a Chinese restaurant is considered offensive.

chinese restaurants

I want to go to India one day; I love the food and the people seem really nice, despite Hollywood making them out to be violent, tomahawk-wielding lunatics who'll attack anyone in a cowboy hat. But then, I'm a worldly, cosmopolitan sort of guy. And one time I ate Chinese food. Cooked by a retired warlord called General Tso. My life is amazing!

WTF

from the newsletter

All I could see through the window was the terracotta pot. Mocking me. Apparently, after helping me into the house, my wife went back outside and moved the pot herself. This is why I think women don't understand feelings.

— The Infernal Terracotta Pot

my newsletter is called

My Blameless Life

read it here ➞

you might also like
Mother's Day Ecard with text: Don't worry Mother. When I'm high I love you at least twenty-five percent more than usual. It just accentuates everything!

when im high

It's that time of year when we all remember our mothers. That's right. Mothers Day is nigh - at least, it is in North America. Different countries tend to celebrate Mothers Day at different times of year. I know, right? Why can't the world just agree on one thing? It's like we were all brought up badly or something. Anyway. This card has 25% more good taste than the others.

Mother's Day

CheerUp Ecard with text: If you absolutely must have Identity Issues, then please, for the sake of everyone around you, try to make them interesting. (Picture of a man in a gorilla suit holding a large fish.)

identity issues

So the story behind this card is that I was walking near the zoo early this morning when a gorilla escaped its enclosure. I had the good fortune to be eating a toffee apple, which the gorilla had a particular fondness for, so we shared the toffee, had a bit of a heart to heart and then, in a newly restored state of mental calm, the gorilla legged it back over the wall into the zoo. BTW if it doesn't rain on Thursday we're both going swimming!

CheerUp

Mother's Day Ecard with text: Thank you Mother for refraining from eating me when I was small, and thus making this Mothers Day card possible.

possible

They say that my Mum had a very generous spirit. I have few memories of her, mostly they're of her leaving to go out on her rounds in her nurses uniform. It's a pity she wasn't a nurse. Mother's Day is an important holiday/scam run by the greeting card industry. I'll be honest about it at least until Wrongcards is profitable, after which I'm obligated to pretend it's not nonsense.

Mother's Day

WTF Ecard with text: So it turns out that trying to order panda in a Chinese restaurant is considered offensive.

chinese restaurants

I want to go to India one day; I love the food and the people seem really nice, despite Hollywood making them out to be violent, tomahawk-wielding lunatics who'll attack anyone in a cowboy hat. But then, I'm a worldly, cosmopolitan sort of guy. And one time I ate Chinese food. Cooked by a retired warlord called General Tso. My life is amazing!

WTF

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An illustration of a coffee-cup, and the text: 'buy me coffee'.

scientific inquiry

...

tags:weed, marijuana, eating, fish

'So I poured bong water into your aquarium to see if fish can get high. Now, before you react, I want you to focus on the undeniable truth - that scientific inquiry has long confused lay society. However, to show you I am a good sport, I have decided to cook you dinner tonight. Just waiting for the fish to finish marinating.'
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