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Ecard text: Dad, thanks for turning me into a self-made man
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I’m aware I have had certain advantages in life. Not every boy gets to grow up knowing his dad was both an astronaut AND an arctic explorer. My grandmother says it’s a pity my dad had to go into hiding when the lizard people from Rigel VI surreptitiously took control of all the world’s major governments, because I’d have really liked him.



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Ecard text: I'm not going to get angry today provided nobody provokes me by breathing too loudly.
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Ecard text: i want you to know that if you ever feel troubled or sad you can come to me, and i will console you by telling you that it’s all your fault for never doing what i tell you to do.
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