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Birthday ecard: some people are more figurative than literal when they say they put love into a birthday cake. not me. Ecard image showing: some people are more figurative than literal when they say they put love into a birthday cake. not me.
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Published on 20 Aug 2008

figurative or literal

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My wife does yoga to relax. See how different men and women can be? It happens to be my personal belief that yoga was invented by a woman as a way to punish men collectively for some sort of infraction — possibly for not removing a lizard from a kitchen in a sufficiently timely manner.

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latest newsletters (opens in new tab)

  1. The Many People I Have Failed to Recognize, Including Myself

    — In which I am repeatedly, confidently wrong about who I'm talking to.

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  2. A Non-Violent Method for Becoming a Better Person

    — Unresolved anger issues? Sure. Which among us is perfect?

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  3. The First of Many Missteps in America

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  4. Norah and the Spider Baby

    — A true account of my mother, a ghost, and an email I ought not have sent.

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I wrote a book

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The Harvard Skull Fiasco

One heist.

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An illustration of a coffee-cup, and the text: 'buy me coffee'.

figurative or literal

...

tags:literal, figurative, sperm

some people are more figurative than literal when they say they put love into a birthday cake. not me.

Copyright © 2008 — 2026 Wrongcards

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