Ecard text: I am sorry I forget to fulfill my promises  to you though in my defense I only break the really, really boring promises.
About Wrongcards
Wrongcards offers free, funny ecards that are wrong for every occasion. The site is 'not-for-profit' and contains no ads, other than some reminders that the site's founder writes funny books that you can find at Amazon.

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Random Cards
Ecard text: Merry Christmas. Good children receive gifts from Santa and bad children get eaten by the Christmas Leopard. Look - don't get angry at me, I don't make up the rules.
Ecard text: I want you to know that I would still want to be with you even if I COULD lick my own genitals.
Ecard text: I'm sorry that our reality is sometimes just badly calibrated.
Ecard text: Word has reached me that your party will not feature an orgy of generously-spirited Norwegian models. And due to this oversight and lack of good planning on your party, I will be unable to attend.
BOOKS BY ME

"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

— The Harvard Skull Fiasco

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— E. C. Rider.

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"I enjoyed this the second entry in the "Blue Bandicoot" series even more than the first; in particular the second half here is fantastic."
—James M.

"Wickedly funny."
— R. Massey

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The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.