Ecard text: I am sorry to hear you are unwell and hope it is not rabies.
About Wrongcards
Wrongcards offers free, funny ecards that are wrong for every occasion. The site is 'not-for-profit' and contains no ads, other than some reminders that the site's founder writes funny books that you can find at Amazon.

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Random Cards
Ecard text: i am sorry you are bereaved but at least you have been rewarded with a small trophy
Ecard text: I'm sorry I wrecked your electric toothbrush but I was overtaken by a moment of curiosity.
Ecard text: I can't hang out with you after all. Everything is fine. I just have to find out what's up with my weed.
Ecard text: I regret that I cannot come over, but I must spend the evening attending to the needy and applying compresses to the fevered brows of sick orphans.
BOOKS BY ME

"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

— The Harvard Skull Fiasco

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"One of the funniest books that I've read."
—Joe Z.

"A fun, zany book full of quirky characters, witty banter, and clever plot twists."
— E. C. Rider.

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"I enjoyed this the second entry in the "Blue Bandicoot" series even more than the first; in particular the second half here is fantastic."
—James M.

"Wickedly funny."
— R. Massey

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The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.