If we start dating then I would no longer need to pay for sex except on special occasions. So it would be win-win for both of us.

Alright blokes, you're fond of a lady but you can't very well show up in her kitchen at 3am, naked and covered in mud and broken glass, claiming to be a time-traveler. Trust me, I speak from experience when I say that women are far too jaded and cynical nowadays for that to work. My best advice? Send this card. My next best advice requires a gorilla suit but I don't give away ALL my trade secrets.