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about this wrongcard

There are wrongcards and there are wrongcards; and today's card is a wrongcard. My apologies to my followers who work in Senior Management: if it's any consolation, I should be in Senior Management too but I once made the mistake of answering a HR questionnaire truthfully. So it goes...



The Story So Far, Part I

I just disappeared for four years. It's time to come out from the woodwork, but where do I start? How about I go back to the middle?

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Ecard text: 'If you were paying attention you would have realized by now that you were promised a pony, but you never received this pony, and that this constitutes a massive betrayal in your life. And the only way to diminish this dull yet irrevocable pain in your heart is to stab random friends and co-workers with pens. Stop by later, I have some pens I'm prepared to sell you.'
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Ecard text: I am sorry I often preface meaningless and insincere apologies with the words 'I'm sorry'.
Now supposing, for the sake of an argument, that you have had to stab a close personal friend in the leg with a pencil because you were bored. The best next step is to send along this wrongcard - or maybe one that seems more sincere. Whatever. The point is they'll appreciate the apology. And they really won't expect your next attack.
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Ecard text: I miss you.And now Ive brutally stabbed even my closest imaginary friends in a fit of pique Im feeling REALLY alone. This blood is also imaginary. Don't even worry about it.
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Ecard text: Friends don't let friends use the word bromance. In fact, friends 'stab' friends who use the word 'bromance'.
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