Still want you | Love Ecard | WRONGCARDS

Love Ecard with text: I want you to know that I would still want to be with you even if I COULD lick my own genitals. — about this card: still want you | Romance today is all about half-measures. It’s gotten so bad that boys don’t even steal flowers from graves any more, they just buy ’em in a shop. That’s like saying ‘I’ll do anything to win and retain your affections provided it’s convenient and lawful’. Once, lovers red-lined their emotions well into the realm of corpse desecration. But its ok, Romance can be saved; Wrongcards is taking it back!

somewhat related wrongcards

Valentines Ecard with text: Here is your Valentines Day card. Now it is your turn to do something for me. Vaseline.

WTF Ecard with text: The great benefit to exclusively having sex with an octopus is that it won't live long enough for you both to reach that 'rocky' phase of the relationship.

Love Ecard with text: Ironically, Justin the Inflatable Pony doesn't give me a hard time about MY relationship with YOU...

Missing You Cards Ecard with text: I miss you but on the upside I at least have a lot more time to get in touch with my OWN body.

Flirting and Pick Up Lines Ecard with text: If God didnt want me to practice on you he would have given me a sheep farm.

latest newsletters

Call Me Nebuchadnezzar

In which I accidentally create a religion.

Call Me Nebuchadnezzar

In which I accidentally create a religion.

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

books by me

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

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Rise of the Blue Bandicoot Book Cover

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The Blue Bandicoot Saga Book Cover

Buy at Amazon

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

Shea suffers from pathological problems with authority. When he's not fixing computers in the library at Harvard Medical School, he's tormenting middle managers and feuding with his boss. But where in the Harvard employee manual does it say you have to behave perfectly at all times?