Ecard text: I am unable to attend your wedding party in case it  looks too suspicious to the US Government from overhead.
about this card
Occasionally I get invited to weddings. My view about weddings is that there are plenty of cheaper ways of getting your hands on cake. It's not hard to shoplift cake but you do want to line your pockets with zip-lock bags. If ever asked why you can't attend a wedding shove a handful of cake in your mouth. Gives you time to think. Saw it done at a Pentagon press briefing once. True story.
ABOUT THIS CARD
Occasionally I get invited to weddings. My view about weddings is that there are plenty of cheaper ways of getting your hands on cake. It's not hard to shoplift cake but you do want to line your pockets with zip-lock bags. If ever asked why you can't attend a wedding shove a handful of cake in your mouth. Gives you time to think. Saw it done at a Pentagon press briefing once. True story.

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