My New Year's resolution was to retire from public life utterly. Then Shia Labeouf decided that this was a good idea to borrow, so that's another of my resolutions that have come to naught. In other news, my resolution to live on better terms with my pet wasp is still intact. Horace and I are committed to putting our differences aside this year
TGIF
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Sometimes I like to re-evaluate myself as an individual and, when I do, I like to give myself 10 out of 10 for self-critical-ness. I'm a simple guy who always tells the truth except if I don't feel like it or get carried away, which is pretty rare but it does happen when I'm at George Clooney's place. I'm not his coolest friend but he's like, 'Kris - you're in my top three'. So that's why I'm happy today.
Excuses
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Some days it's not all that apparent to me why I'm not on a beach somewhere. People should be handing me beverages and offers to relax me in fresh, imaginative ways. Some days I wonder if I took a wrong turn when I decided to base my career on the principle of being honest.
Excuses
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It's not that Christmas parties are all that terrible once the brandy hits the bloodstream. But we introverts dread these things in advance. Why can't we just stay at home and read a good book? Or even a bad one? All you need is a servicable excuse. You can change the world if you have a good enough excuse. Or an alibi.
