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Get Well Ecard with text: There are many more interesting ways of getting attention besides pretending to be sick
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27 Jul 2010

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Excuses Ecard with text: It's not that I don't like hanging out with you. It's that the things that are happening inside my head are usually just more interesting than the things that are happening around me.

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Planet Earth has been a blast lately. On the positive side, everybody has jumped on the 'Socially Isolating Yourself' bandwagon; guys, I've actually been doing that my entire life! I even built an entire website to help people become more socially isolated. You can just share cards like this with people and you're done. You don't even need to pretend to sell Essential Oils any more.

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Get Well Ecard with text: I've decided I like you again and you should be feeling better in a day or two.

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Whenever a friend comes down with a sore throat or a cold I like to sit at their bedside and offer repeated assurances that it's WAY too early to suspect that this might be the illness that takes their life. And that it's completely absurd to start suspecting Foul Play, while I walk around tapping on the walls as if searching for a hollow sound. I guess I want everybody's life to be an adventure.

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from the newsletter

So many troubles in the world seem to have come about from people being wrong about things, and frankly, I think they should cut it out.

— Don't Panic, but Douglas Adams Predicted All of This

my newsletter is called

My Blameless Life

read it here ➞

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Excuses Ecard with text: It's not that I don't like hanging out with you. It's that the things that are happening inside my head are usually just more interesting than the things that are happening around me.

inner world

I've been thinking. Brevity really is the soul of [word count exceeded]

Excuses

Workplace Ecard with text: Thank you for coming into work sick and giving us all Avian/Swine Flu while bravely showing us all what a trooper you are.

presenteeism

Planet Earth has been a blast lately. On the positive side, everybody has jumped on the 'Socially Isolating Yourself' bandwagon; guys, I've actually been doing that my entire life! I even built an entire website to help people become more socially isolated. You can just share cards like this with people and you're done. You don't even need to pretend to sell Essential Oils any more.

Workplace

Get Well Ecard with text: I've decided I like you again and you should be feeling better in a day or two.

this never happened

Whenever a friend comes down with a sore throat or a cold I like to sit at their bedside and offer repeated assurances that it's WAY too early to suspect that this might be the illness that takes their life. And that it's completely absurd to start suspecting Foul Play, while I walk around tapping on the walls as if searching for a hollow sound. I guess I want everybody's life to be an adventure.

Get Well

Olympics Ecard with text: There is no point in watching Olympic-level shot put events because nothing interesting ever happens.

shot put

I used to be quite the athlete back in high school though I had a far less restrained conception of 'competitive' than other students. I probably would have gone pro if the lawyers hadn't shown up talking legalese and waving restraining orders around. Forced into retirement early I guess. Doctors said that sport wasn't for me. Minor ankle injury and a penchant for lighting fires. Whatever.

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An illustration of a coffee-cup, and the text: 'buy me coffee'.

getting attention

...

tags:interesting, attention, sick

There are many more interesting ways of getting attention besides pretending to be sick
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