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Ecard text: There are many more interesting ways of getting attention besides pretending to be sick
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Read my latest book

"Shea is beginning to think that stealing the world's most famous skull wasn't the best way to launch his career in cat burglary..."

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The Story So Far, Part II

I had just learned I was about to become a father. The timing was somewhat less than ideal. You see ...

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Get Well cards

Ecard text: I am sure you would feel better if you just let me practice acupuncture on you.
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Baby cards

Ecard text: Let's get this out of the way now: I will not be interested in hearing about your child until it grows into something more interesting. Like an arsonist.
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Get Well cards

Ecard text: Sorry you're not feeling well. Hypochondria is a serious condition and we hope you get over it real soon.
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Apology cards

Ecard text: I'm sorry I sometimes monologue but it really only happens when I think you have nothing of interest to say.
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