Ecard text: they say there is no such thing as a free lunch. it just goes to show how some people have no idea how to steal shit.
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Wrongcards offers free, funny ecards that are wrong for every occasion. The site is 'not-for-profit' and contains no ads, other than some reminders that the site's founder writes funny books that you can find at Amazon.

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Random Cards
Ecard text: I'm sorry my use of clear and unambiguous language has been a source of so many misunderstandings.
Ecard text: I'm sorry I became a little bit irritable when I was unable to control you with my mind.
Ecard text: I miss you but on the upside I at least have a lot more time to get in touch with my OWN body.
Ecard text: you're so uptight, you'd get out of a bath to take a dump
BOOKS BY ME

"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

— The Harvard Skull Fiasco

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"One of the funniest books that I've read."
—Joe Z.

"A fun, zany book full of quirky characters, witty banter, and clever plot twists."
— E. C. Rider.

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"I enjoyed this the second entry in the "Blue Bandicoot" series even more than the first; in particular the second half here is fantastic."
—James M.

"Wickedly funny."
— R. Massey

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The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.