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Birthday ecard: it's your birthday - you're lucky to have them so don't moan about it, or i'll stab you in the face with an umbrella or something Ecard image showing: it's your birthday - you're lucky to have them so don't moan about it, or i'll stab you in the face with an umbrella or something
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Published on 27 Apr 2008

umbrellas and stabbings

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from the newsletter

In a better organized world, whenever somebody mentions tiling their kitchen, I should be legally entitled to remove a frozen mullet from a briefcase and slap them upside the head with it.

— Of Primate Psychology and Frozen Mullets

An illustration of a coffee-cup, and the text: 'buy me coffee'.
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April 2, 2011
Apology ecard with text: I am sorry I often preface meaningless and insincere apologies with the words I'm sorry.

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Workplace ecard with text: If you were paying attention you would have realized by now that you were promised a pony, but you never received this pony, and that this constitutes a massive betrayal in your life. And the only way to diminish this dull yet irrevocable pain in your heart is to stab random friends and co-workers with pens. Stop by later, I have some pens I'm prepared to sell you.

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umbrellas and stabbings

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tags:umbrellas, stab

it's your birthday - you're lucky to have them so don't moan about it, or i'll stab you in the face with an umbrella or something

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