Umbrellas and stabbings | Birthday Ecard | WRONGCARDS

Birthday Ecard with text: it's your birthday - you're lucky to have them so don't moan about it, or i'll stab you in the face with an umbrella or something

somewhat related wrongcards

TGIF Ecard with text: Thank God it's Friday and nobody in Senior Management was brutally stabbed to death with a pen due to an unfortunate misunderstanding.

Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry I often preface meaningless and insincere apologies with the words 'I'm sorry'.

Workplace Ecard with text: 'If you were paying attention you would have realized by now that you were promised a pony, but you never received this pony, and that this constitutes a massive betrayal in your life. And the only way to diminish this dull yet irrevocable pain in your heart is to stab random friends and co-workers with pens. Stop by later, I have some pens I'm prepared to sell you.'

Missing You Cards Ecard with text: I miss you.And now Ive brutally stabbed even my closest imaginary friends in a fit of pique Im feeling REALLY alone. This blood is also imaginary. Don't even worry about it.

Reminders Ecard with text: Friends don't let friends use the word bromance. In fact, friends 'stab' friends who use the word 'bromance'.

latest newsletters

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.

books by me

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

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Rise of the Blue Bandicoot Book Cover

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The Blue Bandicoot Saga Book Cover

Buy at Amazon

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

Shea suffers from pathological problems with authority. When he's not fixing computers in the library at Harvard Medical School, he's tormenting middle managers and feuding with his boss. But where in the Harvard employee manual does it say you have to behave perfectly at all times?