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WRONGCARDS

@bluesky
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TGIF Ecard with text: Thank God it's Friday and nobody in Senior Management was brutally stabbed to death with a pen due to an unfortunate misunderstanding.

stabby

One day, when someone finally hires me to work in senior management, I'm going to have to quietly make this wrongcard disappear. And if you're thinking, 'Kris you are not cut out for senior management', my response to you is that 'neither is anyone I have actually met who works in senior management, so there.' Happy Friday.

TGIF

meaningless

Now supposing, for the sake of an argument, that you have had to stab a close personal friend in the leg with a pencil because you were bored. The best next step is to send along this wrongcard - or maybe one that seems more sincere. Whatever. The point is they'll appreciate the apology. And they really won't expect your next attack.

Apology

Workplace Ecard with text: If you were paying attention you would have realized by now that you were promised a pony, but you never received this pony, and that this constitutes a massive betrayal in your life. And the only way to diminish this dull yet irrevocable pain in your heart is to stab random friends and co-workers with pens. Stop by later, I have some pens I'm prepared to sell you.

irrevocable pain

...

Workplace

Missing You Ecard with text: I miss you.And now Ive brutally stabbed even my closest imaginary friends in a fit of pique Im feeling REALLY alone. This blood is also imaginary. Don't even worry about it.

getting stabby

...

Missing You

from the newsletter

I will not school my daughters on the finer points of dark chicanery. If they wish to win arguments, outwit foes, vex opponents, or hoodwink adversaries, they're going to have to figure it all out on their own. Because I've seen the Star Wars movies. I know what happens to the Sith when they take on apprentices.

— Me Vs Me

my newsletter is called