Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry that unattended forklifts have invisible sign with the words: steal me written on them that only I can see.

21 Jul 2009

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Christmas Ecard with text: 'Merry Christmas, and always remember: you can celebrate Christmas all year round if you know how to shoplift.'

always remember

Christmas is a time for families. I was raised by my Nanna but she's dead now, though she still appears occasionally in my kitchen at odd hours of the night to howl and gesture menacingly at me. No idea what that's about. At Christmas we would decorate her pet lizards and hook them up to car-batteries to make them dance for us. It was so much fun to be a kid! No idea why I grew up really.

Inspirational Ecard with text: The secret to having a successful career is to be in the right place at the right time with a camera.

secret of success

We have an entire category of Inspirational Ecards, though it's a sadly neglected place lately because, well, if I was to write a self-help book it would probably be called 'Everybody Should Work It Out For Themselves' and Chapter III would be titled 'Choosing Randomly'. BTW today's card is an inspirational ecard, so shush.

CheerUp Ecard with text: Your friendship is valuable to me. And that is why I'll need try to steal your kidneys.

valuable friendship

Do you ever feel sometimes that you have to go the extra-mile just to prove you are a good friend? Well, this card is that extra-mile... and a half.

Sympathy Ecard with text: I was sorry to hear about your loss and hope that there is no possible way that you can be mistakenly implicated.

mistakenly implicated

..

from the newsletter

Is this what life is? A slow gathering of low-level traumas? You become increasingly brittle and vulnerable to petty shocks, then one day you see an unexpected piece of string, and finally succumb to madness?

— In the Garden of the Danger Noodles

my newsletter is called

My Blameless Life

read it here ➞

you might also like

Christmas Ecard with text: 'Merry Christmas, and always remember: you can celebrate Christmas all year round if you know how to shoplift.'

always remember

Christmas is a time for families. I was raised by my Nanna but she's dead now, though she still appears occasionally in my kitchen at odd hours of the night to howl and gesture menacingly at me. No idea what that's about. At Christmas we would decorate her pet lizards and hook them up to car-batteries to make them dance for us. It was so much fun to be a kid! No idea why I grew up really.

Inspirational Ecard with text: The secret to having a successful career is to be in the right place at the right time with a camera.

secret of success

We have an entire category of Inspirational Ecards, though it's a sadly neglected place lately because, well, if I was to write a self-help book it would probably be called 'Everybody Should Work It Out For Themselves' and Chapter III would be titled 'Choosing Randomly'. BTW today's card is an inspirational ecard, so shush.

CheerUp Ecard with text: Your friendship is valuable to me. And that is why I'll need try to steal your kidneys.

valuable friendship

Do you ever feel sometimes that you have to go the extra-mile just to prove you are a good friend? Well, this card is that extra-mile... and a half.

Sympathy Ecard with text: I was sorry to hear about your loss and hope that there is no possible way that you can be mistakenly implicated.

mistakenly implicated

..

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