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Ecard text: I am sorry I feel uncomfortable in the presence of baboons.
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about this wrongcard

I’m a man who believes in the incredible power of the apology, especially when it comes to getting out of scrapes and evading repercussions. A bunch of people will see today’s card and think it somehow doesn’t apply to their lives. This is a rash and foolish notion and I predict that a good forty-four percent of you will send this card someday. And you know I'm right when I use statistics.



The Perfect Query Letter for Literary Agents

My quest to find a literary agent, its reasons, and some very excellent advice on how you too can query a literary agent.

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Mothers Day cards

Ecard text: Happy Mothers Day. Thank you for raising me to be someone around whom cats are very safe, no matter how amorous I might be feeling.
I had a pretty normal childhood even though I was raised by my Nanna after my parents were kidnapped by lizard people. Nanna was in the underground before our side surrendered, and she had to live in 'psychic hiding' (constant inebriation) to avoid detection by mind scanners. So coming up with Mothers Day cards is, of course, a bit tricky. But what I like about this card is that it is reassuring.
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Reminder cards

Ecard text: 'Hard work never killed anyone. Except in cases where the job was STRESSFUL because long-term activation of the stress-response system, and the subsequent over-exposure to cortisol and other stress hormones. Heart disease. Risk of Death. Also: avoid bears.'
I believe that anyone can be rich, whether you're a teacher or a nurse, provided you work very, very hard in your job and your family got a head start in railways, oil fields or early 20th Century luxury hotels. But every rule should be issued with a disclaimer so here is mine. BTW - in case nobody has said it to you yet: Happy Tuesday!
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Inspirational cards

Ecard text: Everyone should have a dream. This is mine. With a picture of a hang gliding walrus.
On Wednesdays I always post an older card and then I spend the rest of the day giving up tea. I quaff my ninth and final cup at ten in the morning (the following three are for nostalgic purposes only). Around mid-afternoon I invariably down another final cup to fortify my resolve to quit. I'm only human; the last thing I want is for you to think I'm an addict when I'm merely an inspirational figure.
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Flirting cards

Ecard text: Sure, it's up to you to decide how you feel about my wanting to touch you with a halibut. I just think it would be easier if you went with 'flattered'.
Like a few dozen other men I have a bit of a romantic streak. Sometimes I buy myself lilies or I light scented candles and take long baths. Or I put on some hip-hop and have a bit of a cry for no reason at all. I'll get annoyed at my lady and not tell her why and just wash up loudly. Or not talk to her because of something she did in one of my dreams. Othertimes - I just make a wrongcard.
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