Unsuspicious | Excuses Ecard | WRONGCARDS

Excuses Ecard with text: Sorry I cannot attend your party but somebody died, I have to attend their funeral,police are describing the death as unsuspicious so anyway: I can't go. — about this card: unsuspicious | The solitary purpose of an Excuses Card is to extricate you from a social obligation. Just send a wrongcard and let me tell lies on your behalf. See? Your conscience is clear. And my conscience? I don’t have one yet but I promise that a conscience is the first thing I’m going to buy when I’m rich.

somewhat related wrongcards

Thinking of You Ecard with text: I was sorry to hear that you had died, and am sending you this ecard on the chance that I simply misheard.

Thinking of You Ecard with text: Don't leave your body to science, leave it to me. Necromancers aren't just born, you know. It all takes practice.

Birthday Ecard with text: Happy Birthday. And remember: heart disease kills about one in every four people.

Inspirational Ecard with text: This year you have not been mauled to death by pissed off Grizzly Bears. Clearly whatever you are doing to keep Grizzly Bears at Bay is working.

Thinking of You Ecard with text: I want to assure you that, in the event of your untimely death, I would disturb your earthly remains for experimentation purposes only.

latest newsletters

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.

books by me

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

Buy at Amazon

Rise of the Blue Bandicoot Book Cover

Buy at Amazon

The Blue Bandicoot Saga Book Cover

Buy at Amazon

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

Shea suffers from pathological problems with authority. When he's not fixing computers in the library at Harvard Medical School, he's tormenting middle managers and feuding with his boss. But where in the Harvard employee manual does it say you have to behave perfectly at all times?