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Ecard text: When I said 'it is a low-brow superficial holiday' what I really meant to say was 'Happy Valentines Day.' I hope we are still on for sex.
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Read my latest book

"Shea is beginning to think that stealing the world's most famous skull wasn't the best way to launch his career in cat burglary..."

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The Harvard Skull Fiasco is Now Available

There's a new book out in the world, and I wrote it.

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Related Cards
Valentines Day cards

Ecard text: And personally I have no problem with it being an 'exchanging consumer goods for sex kind of holiday.
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WTF cards

Ecard text: No matter how lonely you get never turn to sheep. They are very disappointing, emotionally, even though they squirm nicely.
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Excuses cards

Ecard text: 'Very soon I will think of something offensive to say that will cause three hours of bitter argument, followed by a solid half hour of make-up sex. (Note: I dont have anything yet, other than some fairly controversial views about geese).'
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Christmas cards

Ecard text: Christmas is a debt-inducing celebration of commodity culture wrapped inside a guilt trip, which means I won't talk to you if you don't get me a present.
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