Christmas zebra | Christmas Ecard | WRONGCARDS

Christmas Ecard with text: 'It's Christmas! And this year I would like a ZEBRA. Or I won't believe you care about me at all. PS. It has to be alive.' — about this card: christmas zebra | Stare off into the distance. “You’re almost as disappointing as Norman…”..“Who is Norman, Ma?”..“Norman was a disappointment. He wasn’t a devoted son either. Wanted to run off and ’live his life’, whatever that means. All his poor Mother asked for was a zebra. Police never found his body.” “I’ll bring you a zebra mom, I promise.”…“You’re a good boy. On your way home, pick me up a carton of cigarettes.”

somewhat related wrongcards

Valentines Ecard with text: I don't understand the basic point of Valentines Day so let's instead admire this picture of a penguin holding an ice cream.

Valentines Ecard with text: If you think about it, there's nothing sexier than an octopus.

Christmas Ecard with text: I may or may not have gotten you a Christmas spider. The joy lies in the discovery.

New Year's Ecard with text: Happy New Year. Have fun out there but remember: spider monkeys. They're a silent killer.

Christmas Ecard with text: Merry Christmas. Good children receive gifts from Santa and bad children get eaten by the Christmas Leopard. Look - don't get angry at me, I don't make up the rules.

latest newsletters

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

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Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.

books by me

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

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Rise of the Blue Bandicoot Book Cover

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The Blue Bandicoot Saga Book Cover

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The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

Shea suffers from pathological problems with authority. When he's not fixing computers in the library at Harvard Medical School, he's tormenting middle managers and feuding with his boss. But where in the Harvard employee manual does it say you have to behave perfectly at all times?