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It's that time of year when we all remember our mothers. That's right. Mothers Day is nigh - at least, it is in North America. Different countries tend to celebrate Mothers Day at different times of year. I know, right? Why can't the world just agree on one thing? It's like we were all brought up badly or something. Anyway. This card has 25% more good taste than the others.
The Story So Far, Part I
I just disappeared for four years. It's time to come out from the woodwork, but where do I start? How about I go back to the middle?
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'On Wednesdays I like to post a slightly older card and then I invariably I do something practical, like my taxes. I always put a dead bird into the envelope I send to the IRS - when they call me up about it I say it was an accident. FYI: federal employees are not paid enough to audit people who accidentally mail dead animals to them. I'm here to help.'
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I never like to hear people arguing about religion because that means they're not sitting there listening attentively to me. Everyone has a different approach to religious debate. Mine is to scream: That Is Anathema! until everyone leaves. I guess it's important to win.
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I find people very demanding. "Do this, do that, be quiet, don't eat my pudding, put down that knife, tie it off with a tourniquet, drive me to a hospital, what do you mean we're stopping to buy ice cream?" Today's card? Send it to anyone and they'll probably just GIVE you their pudding. It's only reasonable, really.
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