Zombie Ecard with text: when the zombies attack i'll be right by your side

11 Apr 2008

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arm the teachers

People are always talking about their right to own a gun; they never talk about MY right to own a gun. If I owned a gun I'd be shooting it all the time. Double-parked cars. The occasional jet ski. This bus driver who closed the door as I was about to get on, who I chased for two miles on foot. The real reason I shouldn't have a gun is how much I want one. And also how much I want a bazooka.

Dark Humor

hatchets

I know that Christmas has traditionally been about department stores making money but I've always hoped it might one day become a holiday for children. For some reason people assume I'm cynical but I've always liked children: they're funny, and they remind me of how each of us used to be - truthful, spontaneous, amoral and interesting. No child has ever once bored me with talk of mortgages or promotions. So our first Christmas wrongcard is for the children.

WTF

Zombie Ecard with text: A realist's plan for dealing with a zombie outbreak. step 1) run away screaming with hands over head in sheer panic and terror.

zombie realism

I've always had a very firm grasp on reality. The reason is that when I was twelve I witnessed my sister's abduction by extraterrestrials from our family home on Martha's Vineyard, which drove me to join the FBI where I investigated unsolved cases alongside a pretty, red-haired forensic pathologist. You don't have to believe me: the truth is out there.

Zombie

loneliness

Zombies - a fad that just won't die (bada-ba-ching!). Are zombies just a metaphor for consumer culture? Or do they symbolize the unshakable unease of post-modernity? Are we simply fated to wake up one day and find ourselves fighting for our lives? Or will it only 'seem' that way to the infected? Hell, don't ask me, I've got my own demons and today's card is a reminder of the fact...

Zombie

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