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Zombie Ecard with text: when the zombies attack i'll be right by your side
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11 Apr 2008

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People are always talking about their right to own a gun; they never talk about MY right to own a gun. If I owned a gun I'd be shooting it all the time. Double-parked cars. The occasional jet ski. This bus driver who closed the door as I was about to get on, who I chased for two miles on foot. The real reason I shouldn't have a gun is how much I want one. And also how much I want a bazooka.

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from the newsletter

Normally when I'm doing software development, nothing works for quite some time. I'm obliged to spend a lot of time swearing and staring into the middle distance and regretting every single decision in my life that had led me to that particular moment.

— The Best Ecards Website Nobody Knows About

my newsletter is called

My Blameless Life

read it here ➞

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Dark Humor Ecard with text: Arming the teachers 101. Step 1, when teacher's back is turned, clock them over the head with a stapler. Step 2, take their firearm. Now you're an angry adolescent with a gun. Conclusion: the NRA is basically clown school.

arm the teachers

People are always talking about their right to own a gun; they never talk about MY right to own a gun. If I owned a gun I'd be shooting it all the time. Double-parked cars. The occasional jet ski. This bus driver who closed the door as I was about to get on, who I chased for two miles on foot. The real reason I shouldn't have a gun is how much I want one. And also how much I want a bazooka.

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WTF Ecard with text: Never annoy a dozen 4-year-olds who are armed with hatchets. Because they could probably take you down.

hatchets

I know that Christmas has traditionally been about department stores making money but I've always hoped it might one day become a holiday for children. For some reason people assume I'm cynical but I've always liked children: they're funny, and they remind me of how each of us used to be - truthful, spontaneous, amoral and interesting. No child has ever once bored me with talk of mortgages or promotions. So our first Christmas wrongcard is for the children.

WTF

Zombie Ecard with text: A realist's plan for dealing with a zombie outbreak. step 1) run away screaming with hands over head in sheer panic and terror.

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An illustration of a coffee-cup, and the text: 'buy me coffee'.

never forget

...

tags:guns, zombies, shotgun, weapons

when the zombies attack i'll be right by your side
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