Ecard text: They're not paying me enough money to NOT answer emails honestly.
about this card
Writing work emails is easy. First, I write what I have to say on a piece of paper, then I carefully set fire to that paper and stamp the ashes into oblivion. Then I take a muscle relaxant, sit down at my desk and type up the opposite of what I wrote on the paper and click send. Finally I stab my childhood teddy bear in the head with a pair of scissors.
prev send card next
ABOUT THIS CARD
Writing work emails is easy. First, I write what I have to say on a piece of paper, then I carefully set fire to that paper and stamp the ashes into oblivion. Then I take a muscle relaxant, sit down at my desk and type up the opposite of what I wrote on the paper and click send. Finally I stab my childhood teddy bear in the head with a pair of scissors.

subscribe to my newsletter

Sign up here to get the latest updates and
receive one of my novels for free.

Related Cards
Ecard text: Merry Christmas Etcetera. But I am not buying you a present because I don't like to sneak around and do things behind your back.
Ecard text: I would have forked out real money for a real Fathers Day card, but it turns out that God is my real father.
Ecard text: And personally I have no problem with it being an 'exchanging consumer goods for sex kind of holiday.
Ecard text: i know that you hate birthdays, but it's not like you have many left. and a smiley face in the picture.
BOOKS BY ME

"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

— The Harvard Skull Fiasco

Subscribe, and receive for free!

"One of the funniest books that I've read."
—Joe Z.

"A fun, zany book full of quirky characters, witty banter, and clever plot twists."
— E. C. Rider.

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

"I enjoyed this the second entry in the "Blue Bandicoot" series even more than the first; in particular the second half here is fantastic."
—James M.

"Wickedly funny."
— R. Massey

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.