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Writing work emails is easy. First, I write what I have to say on a piece of paper, then I carefully set fire to that paper and stamp the ashes into oblivion. Then I take a muscle relaxant, sit down at my desk and type up the opposite of what I wrote on the paper and click send. Finally I stab my childhood teddy bear in the head with a pair of scissors.
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"Shea is beginning to think that stealing the world's most famous skull wasn't the best way to launch his career in cat burglary..."
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From My Newsletter, June 20, 2019
I also considered throwing a chair through a window, but I didn't because it was my chair, and also my window. One should be particular when it comes to picking out targets for petty acts of vandalism.
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