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@Bluesky

so boring

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mustering

Category: Excuses

May 25, 2012

from the newsletter

I spent a semester studying German grammar, and ultimately concluded that it is a language for people who enjoy strict rules for things. Reader, I am not precisely an anarchist, but learning German grammar almost turned me into one.

— My Concerns About the Lizard Multiply

presenteeism

Category: Workplace

January 17, 2013

Get Well ecard with text: I've decided I like you again and you should be feeling better in a day or two.

this never happened

Category: Get Well

November 28, 2012

Get Well ecard with text: I am sorry to hear you are feeling unwell. Maybe you would feel better if you provided me with an orgasm.

very giving

Category: Get Well

July 10, 2012

Excuses ecard with text: I'm not going in to work today because I'm either temporarily unable to muster the strength to pretend that anything I do has any significance. Or because I have a bit of a nasty cough.

mustering

Category: Excuses

May 25, 2012

latest newsletters (opens in new tab)

The Many People I Have Failed to Recognize, Including Myself
— In which I am repeatedly, confidently wrong about who I'm talking to.
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A Non-Violent Method for Becoming a Better Person
— Unresolved anger issues? Sure. Which among us is perfect?
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The First of Many Missteps in America
— Wherein I am confused by breakfast, and America is confused by me
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Norah and the Spider Baby
— A true account of my mother, a ghost, and an email I ought not have sent.
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