Birthday | PAGE 2

Free Birthday Cards. It's the thought that counts, isn't it?

Birthday Ecard with text: It's your birthday. Pretty soon you'll start to feel intimidated by young people wearing hoodies. — about this card: young people | And we're back from my mid-Autumn hiatus with a Birthday Card. I know a lot of you were beginning to worry that I'd gone and got myself eaten by a bear. I haven't stopped being vigilant of course but around this time of year in Cambridge, MA, I'm more worried about being attacked by supermarket wolves.

Birthday Ecard with text: I would have wished you a Happy Birthday sooner but I wanted to be sure it really as your birthday and not some troubled exercise in narcissism. — about this card: troubled | Sometimes I like to organize surprise birthday parties for random colleagues I don't know very well. Suddenly they're surrounded by cake and balloons and people singing in their cubicle. It's awkward for them because only two people there will know it's not actually their birthday. I suppose it's because I like cake.

Birthday Ecard with text: Happy Birthday. I give you permission to touch yourself while thinking about me. Paying me a modest sum for the privilege is optional but is considered traditional. — about this card: new birthday tradition | Birthday Card: This card is an attempt to inspire a new, less selfish, Birthday tradition. It is, however, a slightly NSFW sentiment.

Birthday Ecard with text: Happy Birthday etc. Please note that with the receipt of this ecard all of my obligations in the matter are now met. — about this card: birthday obligations | Is it your Birthday today? Then I created a perfect card just for you. A-ha! I don't know anyone having a birthday. It was a lie. I lie like a rug! And I'm adrift in a sea of fabrication and dishonesty. But then again: if it isn't your Birthday then you have to admit, you kinda failed me personally as well. I'm going to forgive you, though, because it's what Dr. Phil would want me to do. Dr. Phil has a nice moustache.

Birthday Ecard with text: May your birthday be peaceful and uninterrupted by a sexually gregarious llama who won't take no for an answer.

Birthday Ecard with text: It's your birthday! They give you a cake. And then a crowd of people help themselves to a slice. And everybody congratulates you while they eat your alleged cake. They eat it all up in front of you and you only get one slice, maybe two. — about this card: your alleged cake | It may not be your birthday today but I made each and every one of you this birthday card anyway. Just in case. Oh shush, it was nothing.

Birthday Ecard with text: We light candles on top of a slightly stale sponge cake and everybody cheerlessly sings a song. Then you make a wish, blow out the candles/spit all over the cake and then we have to eat it and say how much we like it and YAY!

Birthday Ecard with text: I hope a kind of pretentious hand-drawn card will excuse me from feigning an enthusiasm I do not feel. Its not personal, its just not my birthday and it sucks.

Birthday Ecard with text: HAPPY BIRTHDAY I foretell a strange year filled with eerie people. Sheep might appear mysteriously then disappear. A close friend may need to borrow money for fairly solid reasons.

Birthday Ecard with text: Happy Birthday. Celebrating another year of your successful avoidance of long-term incarceration.

Birthday Ecard with text: Thank you for understanding that my not remembering to get you a birthday present stems from a rejection of banality and an idiosyncratic tendency to focus on the Great Themes of Life rather than the tawdry or mundane.

Birthday Ecard with text: It's your birthday. Yay! Will this do? — about this card: will this do? | This month, Librans have their birthdays - or Libras or whatever. You know, every now and then I write to astronomy departments at major universities and ask them if they have any professorial positions open for Librans, because 'they would obviously know that Librans have a natural advantage when it comes to comprehending the movements of Celestial Bodies. No idea idea why I do this. I'm a Leo.

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