Skip to main content

Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Press 'Escape' to close menus
  • Use arrow keys to navigate menus
  • Press 'Enter' to select menu items

Weddings Ecards

People get so optimistic and what comes of it? They get engaged and then comes the awful necessity of attending their weddings. Here’s the point: you can send them wedding cards to celebrate their engagement. And often, if you send the right wrong card, you can get out of the whole obligation of having to be there. Of course if things pan out between the lucky couple then in about a year you’ll wind up needing to send one of these Baby Ecards to them as well. Optimists, I say. Anyway, there’s a card there about how traditional weddings require an exchange of oxen and goats, about which I am particularly proud. Otherwise … but did you come here looking for appropriate cards? Really?

Weddings Ecard with text: Congratulations on your upcoming marriage, I can't wait to see which one of you wins.

upcoming marriage

On re-hash Wednesdays I like to post an older card that many of you might not have seen and then I devote the rest of the day to raising money for Ann and Mitt Romney's charity, 'Children Without Skiis'. If I happen to meet a rich society lady at one of these functions and that leads to me getting married and entering the 'We Don't Pay Taxes' class, then ... no really, it's about the kids...

Weddings

Weddings Ecard with text: I am unable to attend your wedding party in case it looks too suspicious to the US Government from overhead.

suspicious

Occasionally I get invited to weddings. My view about weddings is that there are plenty of cheaper ways of getting your hands on cake. It's not hard to shoplift cake but you do want to line your pockets with zip-lock bags. If ever asked why you can't attend a wedding shove a handful of cake in your mouth. Gives you time to think. Saw it done at a Pentagon press briefing once. True story.

Weddings

Weddings Ecard with text: I hope you dont want a traditional wedding because I cant afford to donate any oxen or goats.

traditional wedding

...

Weddings

Weddings Ecard with text: 43% of marriages end in divorce. The rest end in death. But good luck with this project.

forty three percent

...

Weddings