Free ecards that are wrong for every occasion.
The Harvard Skull Fiasco

Keep up with my nonsense

Subscribe to my newsletter
and get one of my ebooks for free.

  1. Home
  2. All
  3. Concerned

Concerned | PAGE 1

Ecards for Showing Concern. Or more accurately, ecards for NOT showing concern. It's all very subjective, really.

As a wise man once said, ‘Hakuna Matata’. This is a Swahili phrase meaning ‘Go Away, Strange White Person’, though obviously the meaning varies slightly due to differences in regional dialects. One of the meanings of ‘Hakuna Matata’ seems to suggest a sentiment of ‘Don’t Worry’. As in, ‘Don’t worry about Cultural Appropriation’. Or, don’t be concerned about inaccuracies in translation because ultimately nothing matters all that much. In short, Hakuna Matata.

Oh, and some of these ecards will help you express that sentiment. Anyway, not to change topics, but does anyone else think I’m wasting my potential?

CheerUp Ecard with text: Sorry to hear you've been feeling depressed. My advice is to be happy. Like me.
CheerUp Ecards view send
about this card: happy like me | I am talented at two things: training wasps to perform tricks, and volunteering. I'm so good at the latter that when I volunteered at the local Suicide Hotline, people stopped calling. My secret? I'd teach my callers how to train wasps. Worked like a charm, too. They would hang up, sobbing with gratitude. My point? Be inspirational! But also maintain an squadron or two of highly-trained wasps.
Thinking of You Ecard with text: I am far too mature to feel like I have to agree with my friends about everything. It's when they disagree with me, however, that we have a problem.
Thinking of You Ecards view send
about this card: we agree | When it comes to quarrels with friends, I believe in 'agreeing to disagree', particularly now I've been made to understand that Massachusetts has some really strict rules about attaching car batteries to people's ears. You know, I really need a legal team, and not some thin-skinned intern who drops out of law school and flees the state after the tiniest bit of harmless workplace electrocution.
CheerUp Ecard with text: When they came for the clowns, I did not speak out - because I felt pretty good about it really. And in conclusion I would like to add WOOHOO! (Picture of a clown being dragged away).
CheerUp Ecards view send
about this card: when they came for the clowns | My feelings about clowns are finally entering the mainstream; Stephen King just put out a documentary called 'IT', which has been very well received, and my Monday evening 'Clown Awareness' circle has grown to more than seven members (if counting my own dissociated personalities is permitted). So I feel good. And you could feel good too, because you know what else? I'M BACK.
Thinking of You Ecard with text: You are the best thing that ever happened to me except for that one time when I found half a clown under a bridge. That was a great day!
Thinking of You Ecards view send
about this card: best thing | People often say to me 'hey, be careful or you'll set fire to that couch!' Another thing they say is, 'you're a good guy, Che, and a pillar of this community.' And I'm thankful too, which is something you should always feel or at least pretend to feel. This morning I made this card as a way of saying Thank You to people. Don't thank me - well, no, you should absolutely thank me. That's the point, right?
Thinking of You Ecard with text: i can't find anything in the bible prohibiting inflatable sheep - so i think you're in the clear with jesus.
Thinking of You Ecards view send
about this card: inflatable sheep | So I invented Rehash Wednesday years ago but the world stole my idea and made it #ThrowbackThursday to avoid having to pay me royalties. Which is fine because I am nice, even people who haven't met me say so all the time. Anyhow, I'm told there is a lot of yellow in this card but I haven't been able to see yellow since I got angry that one time and ate some lead pencils. I think this card is about sheep and morality.
Apology Ecard with text: I'm sorry I'm not always very modest. But in my defence I have fewer things to be modest about.
Apology Ecards view send
about this card: modesty | I apologize all the time. Never sincerely, of course - why rob the experience of fun and whimsy? - but just to practice I guess, in case the unthinkable happens. That's right, even I make mistakes, though the last time was in 2003 when I stupidly agreed to share my ice-cream with someone (long story short: I lost half of my ice-cream) but the point is.. look I don't remember. Something to do with sharks.
CheerUp Ecard with text: If you absolutely must have Identity Issues, then please, for the sake of everyone around you, try to make them interesting. (Picture of a man in a gorilla suit holding a large fish.)
CheerUp Ecards view send
about this card: identity issues | So the story behind this card is that I was walking near the zoo early this morning when a gorilla escaped its enclosure. I had the good fortune to be eating a toffee apple, which the gorilla had a particular fondness for, so we shared the toffee, had a bit of a heart to heart and then, in a newly restored state of mental calm, the gorilla legged it back over the wall into the zoo. BTW if it doesn't rain on Thursday we're both going swimming!
Concerned Ecard with text: I'm not saying that you worry about trivial, absurd things. I'm saying that you worry about trivial, absurd things AND fail to appreciate the dangers of couch monsters. (Picture of a couch with tentacles.)
Concerned Ecards view send
about this card: worries | There is nothing worse than people fretting about frivolous things. Well, being pecked to death by half-starved ducks is probably worse. Also, being followed around by the same pigeon for weeks was pretty rough when that happened to me recently. I had to keep buying it fries to prevent it from brow-beating me. Stupid bird.
Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry for what I did or did not do. Though in my defence this entire relationship was caused by your breasts. (Illustration of badger with the caption - A BADGER. Why does everything have to be relevent?)
Apology Ecards view send
about this card: breast defense | ... and then it occurred to me that many men will be forgetting Valentines Day, and thus might be in dire need of an apology card tomorrow. Think about it. Think of the countless men who will awaken tomorrow to a frosty silence and spend the first half of the day in frozen bewilderment as to what the hell they forgot to do. And you thought YOU had problems.
CheerUp Ecard with text: You should just feel grateful that I cannot always control the universe with my mind. (Picture of a Pterodactyl about to attack an innocent-looking man.)
CheerUp Ecards view send
about this card: pterodactyl | The worst thing about people being sad is the way they try to make you the scapegoat. "I'm sad because of you. I'm sad because I don't have a sofa anymore. I'm sad because we had to call fire-fighters to the house." My point here is that people wouldn't need to feel sad if they didn't buy brown sofas in the first place. Here is an ecard with a pterodactyl on it.
Excuses Ecard with text: It's not that I don't like hanging out with you. It's that the things that are happening inside my head are usually just more interesting than the things that are happening around me.
Excuses Ecards view send
about this card: inner world | I've been thinking. Brevity really is the soul of [word count exceeded]
Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry, and hereby retract all the terrible, terrible things that I said about you, except for those things that were true.
Apology Ecards view send
about this card: terrible | My New Year's resolution was to retire from public life utterly. Then Shia Labeouf decided that this was a good idea to borrow, so that's another of my resolutions that have come to naught. In other news, my resolution to live on better terms with my pet wasp is still intact. Horace and I are committed to putting our differences aside this year

latest newsletters

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.