Apology | PAGE 3

How To Apologize. Ecards to say 'I'm Sorry' to someone who carrying on a bit longer than necessary.

Apology Ecard with text: I'm sorry I don't always know what you want me to do, maybe if you said less I'd know which parts to pay attention to. — about this card: yap yap yap | These days, on an almost daily basis, I find myself needing to apologize to someone. Sometimes I even need to apologize sincerely. When that happens, I make a wrongcard. Then I ask myself 'what have I got to apologize for?' and, instead of sending it, I eat a muffin. It's a pretty good system really.

Apology Ecard with text: I will overlook your various character flaws if you overlook my various improprieties with ducks. — about this card: occasional improprieties | Today is re-hash Wednesday, so I get to post an older card that I happen to like. This one has a picture of a duck. It also promotes empathy, which I read is one of the great themes of art and literature. Empathy, a heightened sensibility to the rich tapestry that is the human experience, and ducks. It's all there, see.

Apology Ecard with text: I will forgive you for not making me a better person if you make cake. — about this card: cake | I'm a good boy: I visit Mother once every three years whether I want to or not, though I tend not to call her on Mothers Day in case she starts to get uppish. I'm a firm believer in doing nice things for Mother so I will probably remember to send her this card this year.

Apology Ecard with text: One day you're just going to have to accept that I'm right about most things, especially in retrospect. — about this card: retrospect | Someone told me I was obliged to create Easter cards this week so I had to reply that, because I have problems with authority, I tend to ignore advice. Then I needed an apology card and here it is. In other news, I can't believe it's already Tuesday. It's like Monday was only yesterday.

Apology Ecard with text: I'm sorry I wrecked your electric toothbrush but I was overtaken by a moment of curiosity. — about this card: experimenting | Sometimes I look upon the sprawling glory that is Wrongcards and see that it is good. And other times - today, for instance - I'm fairly sure that I'm going to hell.

Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry we had a difference of opinion based upon my views being well-researched and nuanced. — about this card: nuanced views | I never argue with people unless I think they're wrong about something. But I generally feel that any action which may result in having to dig six-foot holes in the backyard at 2am isn't ultimately worth it. Anyway, I made you all this apology card. This is the part where you feel grateful. Oh stop it, it's nothing.

Apology Ecard with text: I'm sorry I pissed on the floor but I lost concentration. — about this card: minds wander | There are cards for you, and there are cards for me ... and today's card is for me. I don't really want to talk about it

Apology Ecard with text: I apologize for the fact that I wasn't put on earth to help people feel good about being wrong. — about this card: good about being wrong | Whenever I apologize for something I focus on getting the details right. If you get the details wrong then it might sound insincere or as though you are thinking about something else. Sometimes I can't remember the details so I like to keep apologies very general and vague. Today's card, for example.

Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry I seemed a bit difficult, but it wasn't intentional. I am only intentionally difficult on Tuesdays. — about this card: unintentionally | Over my Christmas vacation (which is ending, by the way, roughly now-ish) I thought about becoming a better person. Less difficult, more civilized and all that nonsense. But ultimately I decided it probably wasn't worth the effort and that self-improvement is really about Better Excuses and Alibis. Here is the first Wrongcard for 2011.

Apology Ecard with text: difficult for a purpose — about this card: difficult for a purpose | Whenever someone says something that is contrary to my wishes, interests or world view, I always point out that they are being difficult. But sometimes people call me difficult before I can say that they are. And I hate it. I made this card so I can retain the upper-hand. One should always win at all costs.

Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry I have not been more supportive of you lately. I have just been very busy being interesting. — about this card: busy being interesting | You know when a villain ties a person to the railway tracks and sends a letter to the hero saying 'you better get down here or your friend is going to get run over ha ha etcetera?' I don't know if this has happened to me because I tend not to open correspondence. I just forget. Missing the requisite gene I suppose. Here's an ecard for people like me.

Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry I often preface meaningless and insincere apologies with the words 'I'm sorry'. — about this card: meaningless | Now supposing, for the sake of an argument, that you have had to stab a close personal friend in the leg with a pencil because you were bored. The best next step is to send along this wrongcard - or maybe one that seems more sincere. Whatever. The point is they'll appreciate the apology. And they really won't expect your next attack.

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