Excuses | PAGE 2

Excuses. You call it 'social anxiety', I call it a 'low threshhold for boring people and situations'.

Excuses Ecard with text: I'm sorry I cannot hang out with you. Yesterday I saw a garden gnome. — about this card: little excuse | I know I seem rather well-adjusted, but sometimes I feel a little unsteady.

Excuses Ecard with text: I can't hang out with you after all. Everything is fine. I just have to find out what's up with my weed. — about this card: everything is fine | I find people very demanding. "Do this, do that, be quiet, don't eat my pudding, put down that knife, tie it off with a tourniquet, drive me to a hospital, what do you mean we're stopping to buy ice cream?" Today's card? Send it to anyone and they'll probably just GIVE you their pudding. It's only reasonable, really.

Excuses Ecard with text: I regret that I cannot come over, but I must spend the evening attending to the needy and applying compresses to the fevered brows of sick orphans. — about this card: fevered brows | It hurts me to imagine that someone is out there at this very moment apologetically saying, "I'm sorry, I have no excuse...." I spend my life thinking up excuses, so take it from me - [sorry, the rest of this thought was written down by me and then eaten by ducks. WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT?]

Excuses Ecard with text: I regret I cannot attend your party due to my concern that the people there might unintentionally make me feel as if I am wandering alone in a cold dark void. — about this card: cold dark void | You can use today's card to extricate yourself from an invitation to a party so that you can do more important things, like space out on the internet or micromanage your Japanese fugu smuggling operation. This card is just so amazingly reasonable - what could possibly go wrong?

Excuses Ecard with text: Word has reached me that your party will not feature an orgy of generously-spirited Norwegian models. And due to this oversight and lack of good planning on your party, I will be unable to attend. — about this card: norwegian model excuse | So someone has invited you to a party: the hooks are in, the obligation to attend is fierce, but the thought of it all fills you with a nameless dread. Maybe it's because your friend's friends are lunatics. Or maybe it's because YOU are a lunatic. Doesn't matter. You can stop fretting and just send along this card. Life was meant to be this easy.

Excuses Ecard with text: I cannot attend that thing you are organizing due to my tendency to say true and reasonable things that make some people panic. — about this card: true and reasonable | It's not that Christmas parties are all that terrible once the brandy hits the bloodstream. But we introverts dread these things in advance. Why can't we just stay at home and read a good book? Or even a bad one? All you need is a servicable excuse. You can change the world if you have a good enough excuse. Or an alibi.

Excuses Ecard with text: I am sorry I can't go to that thing you are organizing because I plan on having a terrible headache that day. — about this card: headache excuse | There is a now a new category of Wrongcards called 'Excuses' which can help you evade unwanted social engagements. And this is the first card! So now you can get out of seeing those people who are expecting you for tea and crumpets. Good excuses provided by Wrongcards. Or perhaps just 'Excuses provided by Wrongcards'. Why sensationalize?

Excuses Ecard with text: 'Very soon I will think of something offensive to say that will cause three hours of bitter argument, followed by a solid half hour of make-up sex. (Note: I dont have anything yet, other than some fairly controversial views about geese).'

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