Concerned | PAGE 3

Ecards for Showing Concern. Or more accurately, ecards for NOT showing concern. It's all very subjective, really.

Apology CheerUp Excuses Get Well Soon Cards Missing You Cards Reminders Sympathy Cards Thank You Cards Thinking of You

Apology Ecard with text: i am sorry i didnt listen to you but sometimes it is difficult to hear things over the screams of the enemies i have trapped in my mind. — about this card: enemies | I'm one of those people who would do just about anything to get out of an argument, so much so that I sometimes have to resort to never being wrong about anything in the first place. If you're like me you will have a contingency for everything, and if you're not like me, just take whatever I say on faith until you change.

Apology Ecard with text: i am sorry you thought this was going to be a sincere apology when all this was ever destined to be was a nice picture of an aardvark. — about this card: disappointment | Sometimes I coordinate workplace behavioral studies. For instance, it is possible to stimulate the amygdala, or the 'panic' center of the brain, merely by setting ordinary office equipment on fire. I then write copious notes on how my co-workers react. Because that's how much I want to be a scientist. This apology card should be sent after the firemen turn off the automatic sprinkler system.

CheerUp Ecard with text: You think you have problems. My Sims are trapped inside a burning house and someone has bricked up the doors. Life can be so sad. — about this card: life can be so sad | Sometimes I play this videogame called The Sims and the little people keep having emotional breakdowns and wind up defecating in their neighbor's kitchens at 3am, or entering other Sim's bedrooms to watch them make-out while they daydream about nachos. God is playing 7 billion games of The Sims. Man, that sure is a lot of thoughts about nachos.

CheerUp Ecard with text: Cheer up. Trust me, somewhere out there, alone and afraid in the woods, a clown is suffering. — about this card: shadowy truth | People sometimes feel bad about things and I blame the media, and also spider monkeys. Everybody puts such an emphasis on bad things happening everywhere but a lot of good things happen that don't get reported on. Each year thousands of circus clowns go missing. If you happen to have information about clown disappearances near you, remember: discretion is everything.

Apology Ecard with text: I am deeply and profoundly sorry that I have to apologize to you and promise that next time I will treat myself with more consideration. — about this card: deeply profoundly | Sometimes I cover my face, pretend to be upset, and say to people, 'I've been having some emotional problems lately' which is my way of saying: 'soon you're going to find the roadkill that I've hidden under your bed. I hope we will still be friends'. Friendships; they take work. Today's rehash Wednesday card is for saying sorry. See? I'm your friend.

Apology Ecard with text: Im sorry that we argued and that you lost that argument, but in my defense, I wasnt trying very hard to win. — about this card: in my defense | Apologies are like nailing a dead fruit bat to someone’s door. You don’t want to do it but it stops people complaining.

Missing You Cards Ecard with text: I need you back with me, I've started eating mice again. — about this card: i need you back | People throw about the phrase 'a cry for help' pretty loosely in society these days - it's easy to get confused. I used to think wearing gumboots while not working in an agricultural capacity was a cry for help. See? If I can get confused, anyone can. Today's rehash Wednesday card is kind of a cry for help but trust me: for best results set a divan on fire.

Reminders Ecard with text: There are people who do not worry that they will one day be hunted by a giant chicken. They are called fools. — about this card: chicken problems | Often my American co-workers ask me: 'who stole my keyboard?' And I just say to them: 'Why are you asking me? Is it Pick On The Australian Day? Ever heard of Cultural Sensitivity? Just because I'm a minority, descended from convicts, that automatically makes me a keyboard thief right?' After that, they apologize. And I give them back their keyboard.

CheerUp Ecard with text: Cheer up. God might not be listening to you but the CIA always is. — about this card: redacted | I guess I was born to cheer people up. When someone is sad I remind them that they could die at any moment, perhaps at the hand of a someone they know, who pays for axes with cash, and is, moreover, familiar with the floor plan of their house. God clearly wants us all to be happy, so am I an act of God? I don't know, the Vatican is still ignoring my letters. Nice bureaucracy, guys.

Reminders Ecard with text: Warning: bees are everywhere. Take all necessary precautions. — about this card: bees | Whenever a person tells me they are depressed I suggest they bake some muffins. I tell them research indicates that baking increases production of the monoamine neurotransmitter 5-hydroxytryptamine (serotonin). It's not true, I just like muffins. If bees were an ingredient in muffins then this post would be slightly less tangential.

CheerUp Ecard with text: I'm sorry that our reality is sometimes just badly calibrated. — about this card: badly calibrated | One of the things that makes apologizing so enjoyable is that people always believe me. Once I set fire to someone's couch and, even though I was doing them a huge favor (it had a floral print), things were tense until I said sorry. That's why it's childish not to say sorry. Next week I'm setting fire to their new couch because it's brown and I'll say sorry again. Maturity doesn't mean 'boring'.

Thank You Cards Ecard with text: Thank you for sparing us the inevitable feelings of social awkwardness that we would both be forced to feel if you were to ever realize that my problems are frequently worse than yours. — about this card: my problems | Due to a speech impediment I developed as a child, for many years I was unable to say the words 'thank you' without gnawing on someone's leg. However, after I got over my subconscious fear of invisible silent Qs in words, I found I was finally able to express gratitude verbally. I'd be thanking people all the the time if it wasn't such a sign of weakness.

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