Or more accurately, ecards for NOT showing concern. It's all very subjective, really.
You know how you can care for a person but they still occasionally leave your side to travel, for work or vacation or some other stupid, self-centered reason? I made this card for people like that. They may not deserve us sending them cards but we should try to show them that we can rise above their general lack of consideration.
Whenever I apologize for something I focus on getting the details right. If you get the details wrong then it might sound insincere or as though you are thinking about something else. Sometimes I can't remember the details so I like to keep apologies very general and vague. Today's card, for example.
Over my Christmas vacation (which is ending, by the way, roughly now-ish) I thought about becoming a better person. Less difficult, more civilized and all that nonsense. But ultimately I decided it probably wasn't worth the effort and that self-improvement is really about Better Excuses and Alibis. Here is the first Wrongcard for 2011.
So someone has invited you to a party: the hooks are in, the obligation to attend is fierce, but the thought of it all fills you with a nameless dread. Maybe it's because your friend's friends are lunatics. Or maybe it's because YOU are a lunatic. Doesn't matter. You can stop fretting and just send along this card. Life was meant to be this easy.
It's not that Christmas parties are all that terrible once the brandy hits the bloodstream. But we introverts dread these things in advance. Why can't we just stay at home and read a good book? Or even a bad one? All you need is a servicable excuse. You can change the world if you have a good enough excuse. Or an alibi.
There is a now a new category of Wrongcards called 'Excuses' which can help you evade unwanted social engagements. And this is the first card! So now you can get out of seeing those people who are expecting you for tea and crumpets. Good excuses provided by Wrongcards. Or perhaps just 'Excuses provided by Wrongcards'. Why sensationalize?
Miss Piggy terrified Kermit and was physically abusive and I alone noticed! Six year old me was FREAKED that everyone forgave her. She's the Charlie Sheen of Muppet World. The only reason today's wrongcard exists is because I have always wanted her head on a stick. I have now formally addressed this topic. Moving on...
Everybody knows that llamas are the second-class citizens of the horse world. I think they're awesome and a bit better than alpacas. Alpacas kind of have a shifty look about them. They're both okay I guess but in a tight-spot I'd rather have a llama with me than an alpaca. I don't know why but my instincts are usually pretty good about this stuff.
This is good advice. A lot of people out there seem oblivious to certain risks. I can try and warn people but my words can only do so much. It's up to all of you to exercise all due caution. Remember: be careful out there.
Whenever someone says something that is contrary to my wishes, interests or world view, I always point out that they are being difficult. But sometimes people call me difficult before I can say that they are. And I hate it. I made this card so I can retain the upper-hand. One should always win at all costs.
You know when a villain ties a person to the railway tracks and sends a letter to the hero saying 'you better get down here or your friend is going to get run over ha ha etcetera?' I don't know if this has happened to me because I tend not to open correspondence. I just forget. Missing the requisite gene I suppose. Here's an ecard for people like me.
It's a terrible thing to be unappreciated. When you are the very glue that holds everyone around you together, you can't expect a thanks, praise or ice-cream. But sometimes it might help to remind your friends and family how integral you are to the structural integrity of their lives.