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Ecards for Family Members

Family cards

Ecard text: I think that if you had been an only child, you would have become lonely and tried to imagine me. And that would have become dangerous because if your imagination had summoned me, I would have wound up becoming our parents favorite again.
A Family Card today that touches on the subject of sibling rivalry, with apologies to the 'only child's among us. And apologies as well to orphans and people who burned their families' house down, because they probably find cards mentioning siblings somewhat tactless. You see how it's hard to please everybody.
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Family cards

Ecard text: Genghis Khan killed his own brother when he was thirteen. And he went on to greatness. This is not a threat, just an observation based on a factual instance from history.
You all know me as a staunch defender of family values. Although Genghis Khan is not closely connected with Thanksgiving he DID father thousands of children and set them up with a dynastic empire. You don't get more family-oriented than that. Did your parents do as much for you? Doubt it. Ask them why not this holiday season.
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Family cards

Ecard text: How about you do all the housework and i'll focus on being awesome, and one day i'll thank you briefly in an appendix of my memoirs.
Chores. Some want to do them, some don't. The problem is that the people who WANT to do chores always insist that the people who DON'T want to do them should also want to do them. I'd rather lay on a beach than do chores myself, but I've always been an individualist. Here's today's card.
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Family cards

Ecard text: 'I was truly sorry to hear that your parents are getting a divorce. BTW: Could you please give your mother my phone number? No reason.'
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Family cards

Ecard text: the money i save by sending you an ecard instead of a gift will be spent on drugs. you must have totally failed me as a parent
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Subcategories of 'Ecards for Family Members'

Ecards Not to Send to Your In-Laws

Sweetie, I LOVE your parents, you know I do… If you’ve heard these words then you’re living with a god-damned liar. And that’s fine. I believe that nobody should love their spouse’s parents - it’s creepy. Oh of course you meet these people who say they don’t want to kill their in-laws and sometimes I even believe them, in which case I like to to refer them to a mental health specialist in Switzerland. Who was it that said that the only reason you should be nice to your in-laws is so that you can be above suspicion when you murder them? Oh that’s right, it was me.